In the future we'll all be gay
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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