We named our party play list daddy issues
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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