I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
