drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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