Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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