no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Boobs are out for the taking
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
