You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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