Swine flu. Run for my life!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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