I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
