I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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