Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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