i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
