weddingsv make me drug and hornr
kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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