He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
