How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All I want is dick and wine.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
