I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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