Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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