I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
