Sponge bath it is.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize