wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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