SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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