Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm bleeding and have questions
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
