I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We are all done wearing pants today
I supernannyed him into submission
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
