Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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