just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
