Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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