Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
