a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My vagina is officially offended.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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