fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize