She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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