she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
