your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
