I cannot find my penis.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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