you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
FUCK WHALES
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