'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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