Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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