Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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