I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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