I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
