i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
