9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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