So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize