? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
