I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
