I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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