There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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