Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize