My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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