i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
