I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You ate ashes out of my bong
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
