I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
