There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
