woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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