the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
