Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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