Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
