i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
