Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize