Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
