And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
