my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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